is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
