Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
