I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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