One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
