do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
