smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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