More tranny stories later!
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
