Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
