**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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