that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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