The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
