Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
