I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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