...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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