it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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