'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
