i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
