if you like me you must not know who I am
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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