I wish i was in the wii world.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
