OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
