What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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