You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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