he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
