if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
