That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
