Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
