My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
