She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
