I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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