You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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