I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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