soooo we both peed the bed last night...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
