i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
