using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
