That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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