He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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