she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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