That's intense
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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