i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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