What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
worst night to have a conscience
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
