so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
