I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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