just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
