God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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