Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
