She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
