worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
