she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
