two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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