There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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