Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
no, he came in my armpit
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
